What do you call an alligator in a vest?
Answer: An investigator.
Why did the tomato turn red?
Answer: Because it saw the salad dressing.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Answer: Because it was feeling crummy.
What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
Answer: Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
What kind of music do planets like?
Answer: Neptunes.
What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?
Answer: Attire.
What do you call a fake noodle?
Answer: An impasta.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Answer: Because it was two-tired.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Answer: Because they make up everything.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Answer: Because it wasn’t peeling well.
What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
Answer: An irrelephant.
Why did the math book look so sad?
Answer: Because it had too many problems.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
Answer: To get to the other slide.
Why don’t ghosts like rain?
Answer: It dampens their spirits.
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
Answer: Because it was two-tired.
What do you call a sleeping bull?
Answer: A bulldozer.
Why did the tomato turn red?
Answer: Because it saw the salad dressing.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Answer: Because he was outstanding in his field.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
Answer: A pork chop.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Answer: Because it wasn’t peeling well.
What do you call an owl that can do magic tricks?
Answer: Hoodini.
Why did the frog call his insurance company?
Answer: He had a jump in his car.
Why do hummingbirds hum?
Answer: Because they don’t know the words.
What do you call a group of cows playing instruments?
Answer: A Moo-sical band.
Why did the tomato turn green?
Answer: Because it was not ripe yet.
What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?
Answer: A slipper.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
Answer: A pouch potato.
What do you call a snake that works for the government?
Answer: A civil serpent.
What do you call a donkey with three legs?
Answer: A wonkey.
What do you call a computer that sings?
Answer: A Dell.
What do you call a fish that wears a bow tie?
Answer: Sofishticated.
Why did the tomato turn red?
Answer: Because it saw the salad dressing.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Answer: Ground beef.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Answer: Because they use honeycombs.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Answer: “Supplies!”
What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
Answer: A dino-snore.
What has a heart that doesn’t beat, a mouth that doesn’t eat, and a body that doesn’t move?
Answer: A artichoke.
What is brown and sticky?
Answer: A stick.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Answer: Frostbite.
What kind of bird can lift the most weight?
Answer: A crane.
What do you call a group of cows playing instruments?
Answer: A Moo-sical band.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
Answer: A good sportsmanship.
What kind of dog does Dracula have?
Answer: A bloodhound.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Answer: Because it felt crummy.
Why was the math book sad?
Answer: Because it had too many problems.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
Answer: An investigator.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Answer: Because he was outstanding in his field.
What do you call a group of cows that play instruments?
Answer: A moo-sical band.