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 What do you call an alligator in a vest?

Answer: An investigator.

Why did the tomato turn red?

Answer: Because it saw the salad dressing.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

Answer: Because it was feeling crummy.

What did the grape say when it got stepped on?

Answer: Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

What kind of music do planets like?

Answer: Neptunes.

What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?

Answer: Attire.

What do you call a fake noodle?

Answer: An impasta.

Why did the bicycle fall over?

Answer: Because it was two-tired.

Why don’t scientists trust atoms?

Answer: Because they make up everything.

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

Answer: Because it wasn’t peeling well.

What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?

Answer: An irrelephant.

Why did the math book look so sad?

Answer: Because it had too many problems.

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

Answer: To get to the other slide.

Why don’t ghosts like rain?

Answer: It dampens their spirits.

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?

Answer: Because it was two-tired.

What do you call a sleeping bull?

Answer: A bulldozer.

Why did the tomato turn red?

Answer: Because it saw the salad dressing.

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Answer: Because he was outstanding in his field.

What do you call a pig that does karate?

Answer: A pork chop.

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

Answer: Because it wasn’t peeling well.

What do you call an owl that can do magic tricks?

Answer: Hoodini.

Why did the frog call his insurance company?

Answer: He had a jump in his car.

Why do hummingbirds hum?

Answer: Because they don’t know the words.

What do you call a group of cows playing instruments?

Answer: A Moo-sical band.

Why did the tomato turn green?

Answer: Because it was not ripe yet.

What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?

Answer: A slipper.

What do you call a lazy kangaroo?

Answer: A pouch potato.

What do you call a snake that works for the government?

Answer: A civil serpent.

What do you call a donkey with three legs?

Answer: A wonkey.

What do you call a computer that sings?

Answer: A Dell.

What do you call a fish that wears a bow tie?

Answer: Sofishticated.

Why did the tomato turn red?

Answer: Because it saw the salad dressing.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Answer: Ground beef.

Why do bees have sticky hair?

Answer: Because they use honeycombs.

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

Answer: “Supplies!”

What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?

Answer: A dino-snore.

What has a heart that doesn’t beat, a mouth that doesn’t eat, and a body that doesn’t move?

Answer: A artichoke.

What is brown and sticky?

Answer: A stick.

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?

Answer: Frostbite.

What kind of bird can lift the most weight?

Answer: A crane.

What do you call a group of cows playing instruments?

Answer: A Moo-sical band.

What do you call a boat full of polite football players?

Answer: A good sportsmanship.

What kind of dog does Dracula have?

Answer: A bloodhound.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

Answer: Because it felt crummy.

Why was the math book sad?

Answer: Because it had too many problems.

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

Answer: An investigator.

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Answer: Because he was outstanding in his field.

What do you call a group of cows that play instruments?

Answer: A moo-sical band.

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