What do you call a computer that sings?
Answer: A Dell.
What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
Answer: An irrelephant.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Answer: Because it was feeling crummy.
What could ruin and fix your life at the same time?
Answer: Money.
What has a head and a tail but no body?
Answer: A coin.
What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
Answer: Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
What do you call a sleeping bull?
Answer: A bulldozer.
What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries?
Answer: A towel.
What do you call a sad coffee?
Answer: A deppreso.
What kind of music do planets like?
Answer: Neptunes.
What has a face and two hands but no arms or legs?
Answer: A clock.
What kind of bird can lift the most weight?
Answer: A crane.
When does Halloween come before Valentine’s day?
Answer: In a dictionary.